tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
