margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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