he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
