So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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