Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
