I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
My nipple is on Facebook.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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