bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
