you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
