THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize