Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
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