I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
