it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
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