Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
