thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
P.S. I can't hear my feet
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
