How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
It's blow job season.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
