I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
