I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
