They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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