someone owes me an orgasm
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
MIDGETS
????
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
