I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
