I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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