and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
