Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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