But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
