Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
