No awkward lesbian experiences without me
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
