She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
