The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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