FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
