ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
