well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
