If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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