they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
