gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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