Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
