the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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