My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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