i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
