you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
