i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
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