Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
