Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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