smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
