so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
