i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
