Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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