i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You dont lie about slip and slides
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
