Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
