i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
