you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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