Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
are you so shy because you have an std?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Randomize
