I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
