and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
