Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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