I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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