last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
