Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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