last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
