Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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