I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
